What should we do to control our mind and stay detached?

As Guru Poornima is approaching, a sadhaka tries to increase his / her spiritual efforts. Control over mind and is very important. Swami Ramsukhdas ji's invaluable advice is always useful for our spiritual progress. This year Guru Poornima is on 24-Jul-2021

Note: 1st Q & A was posted in 2009. Here is a complete Q & A from Swami Ramsukhdas ji's website

Question:  How can I get rid off the clatter in my mind?

Swami Ramsukhdas ji:  When clatter comes your way, don't become happy or sad. These things will come and go. The mantra is "agaamipaayinonitya" recite this within the mind. Have that feeling, that inner expression that this thing comes and goes, it is unreal (it is changing). However good or bad the situation may be, but the minute that situation comes up, immediately recite within, this is "agaamipaayinonitya". It's nature is to come and go, it is unreal, constantly changing. This is the truth, because neither favorable nor unfavorable situations will remain. Simply understand, that this will not stay with us. This is not a new thing. So what is there to be happy or sad with the situation?

In getting something that you like or not getting it, what is there to become happy or sad? Best of best situations come your way, then that too will not remain, but you will always remain! Right in front of you, both favorable and unfavorable situations come and go, but you remain. You are that same one. Simply keep your sight on your Self.

All that comes and goes do not blend with it - this itself is liberation. By blending with it - that itself is bondage. All the clatter, the noise that comes and goes, by becoming entangled with it is bondage, and not getting entangled with it is liberation.

What an easy, straight-forward, simple point this is!

From discourse in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji on Dec 14, 1995 at 5:30 pm

Question:  In spite of knowing this, I become entangled and blend with the clatter in my mind.  What should I do?

Swami Ramsukhdas ji:  You say that in spite of not wanting you somehow get entangled and blend with the clatter. In favorable situations and unfavorable situations you become suddenly one with them, then there is a solution for that as well. On blending with them, you still have the knowledge that you have blended with them, but you are actually separate, and the favorable / unfavorable are separate. Isn't it the truth? Noise and clatter arise, then they subside; they come and they go away; but you remain. Then you and the noise are two or one?

From discourse in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji on Dec 14, 1995 at 5:30 pm

Question:  At present I understand, but when the moment comes, I blend with the situation, and realize much too late, what must be done?

Swami Ramsukhdas ji:  Now you say that - you understand right now, but the moment that a favorable or unfavorable situation comes, at that moment, you cannot tell. You become united and blend with it. After becoming connected with it, you realize later that you have blended. The answer is that even after recognizing this later, think that you were not joined at that time as well. You had simply believed that you were joining. It was never with you, and you were apart from it. With such understanding, become silent!! That is it! It will go away. By giving importance to the joy and sorrow from the union, the clatter within continues. Therefore do not give it any significance. Talk to it and say, you were never connected, then it will be wiped out, eradicated entirely. When you become aware, then say to yourself, that no - no, you were never united with it.

From "Sansaar kaa asar kaise chute?" in Hindi pg 32-35 by Swami Ramsukhdasji.

Question:  Regarding getting rid off the agitations of the mind you said "Disassociate yourself from the mind, and simply do not become happy and unhappy." Can you elaborate on "Do not become happy or unhappy when situations arise" ?

Swami Ramsukhdas ji:  Whatever path a yogi follows, Path of Knowledge (Jnana yoga), Path of Selfless Service (Karma yoga), or Path of Devotion and Love (Bhakti yoga), whatever situations comes in his way, neither become elated, nor become disappointed. This is everyone's work, not just for yogis. Who ever is intent on realizing God or the Self, for those spiritual aspirants (sadhakas), this point is very essential. However beautiful a thing you acquire, or however ugly an object you see, however favorable or unfavorable a situation that comes in your life, in these opposing circumstances, the one who neither becomes happy, nor becomes unhappy, that one will realize God. And the one that is elated or down, will continue to come and go in the cycle of birth and death.

Favorable and unfavorable situations will come to all. God (Lord Krishna), who is Arjuna's charioteer says – My brother, this is "sheetoshna sukhdukhadah". That is, graciously you must bare these situations. "taansstitiskhasva" (Gita 2:14). God does not say, I will relieve you of these painful circumstances, rather he says, to endure (sahan karo) in those situations.

Therefore do not become a slave to your own likes (raag) and dislikes (dwesh).

When something appears to be okay or not okay, do not become happy or sad.  Instead, be unconcerned about it, and everything will be all right. When disturbances come your way, do not become happy or unhappy. These situations will come and go. Make this your mantra – "It is coming. It is going. It is passing." However good or bad a situation is, the minute the agitations arrive, start to repeat your mantra – "It is coming. It is going. It is passing." This is the absolute truth. Neither favorable situations stay nor unfavorable situations stay. Only remember this much, it will not stay. In this you do not have to do any new work. Now with this discovery, what's to be happy and what's to be unhappy?

From "Man ki khatpat kaise mite?" book in Hindi by Swami Ramsukhdasji.

Note: When Swami Ramsukhda ji says, 'do not become happy or sad, it means one has to remain neutral and not get carried away by the impulses. In deeper sense, 'to not become anything' means not to associate oneself or 'I' with any external object, physical body or with thoughts, emotions or personality. In other words, be detached from mind, body and intellect.