Do not worry weather the path you have selected is correct or not. Do not continuously doubt weather your Guru is a true saint or not. Have faith in God. Keep praying to him. Ask what you want to him. Keep increasing the faith in God. God will show you the correct direction. Even if you are going in wrong direction, God will change your direction and will put you in a path which suits you the most. So the essence is to have trust in God. Keep praying for correct direction, to give more faith, to make me understand spirituality and the goal of life, to teach me how to meditate (do Japa), to increase the surrender. If you pray form your heart, God will definitely listen. If God would not listen to anybody, then the temples would close down – after all we are all calculative and business minded. If God can fulfil our personal worldly wishes, then why cant’s he fulfil our wish to be one with Him, to know him.
Take a decision.
It is your mind that does not want to practise spirituality and keeps giving excuses. It is the Ego that does not want to surrender
Think again. Can’t you pray in simple words.
If you do not want, you will not surrender and practise spirituality, but don’t say ‘I can’t practise spirituality”.